Millie came from the Best Friends in Sugarhouse. She had been at the county animal shelter for quite a while, 14 months with a failed three month adoption somewhere in between. They said she was too fat to get up the stairs and so she would poop inside the house. Millie should weigh 70 to 75 lbs. When that family abandoned her she was close to 100 lbs. She's in the mid 80's now. She's a good dog, she loves food, I could relate to that. I felt an immediate connection with her. Even though she really has the worst gas ever. Probably because of that. I don't know, I guess I'm weird.
In the last year Millie taught us a lot about dogs, and about rescues. She has a pretty sweet temperament, but didn't care for small dogs. She can slip a regular collar with one swift Jet Li looking move. This is easily remedied by a Martingale collar that cinches up when she pulls, not enough to hurt her, just enough to remain snug. We learned she doesn't mind the UPS van until she sees the man inside with the doors open, she hates that. She doesn't like it when there are things inside of things like that. Millie taught us that a little compassion and a little consistency can change anything.
So, we were feeling good. If having Millie in our pack felt good adding another would feel even better. We started stalking the Best Friends Utah pages online, and The Humane Society. We started going to the Petsmart Saturday adoption events. We really liked the guy from Second Chance. We spent time with those dogs. Then a girl I work with who volunteers for Rescue Rovers showed me a picture of a little dog on her phone. He was a jet black boxer/pug mix. You could see in his pictures that he had a lot of attitude. It was his mug that I liked, half his teeth poking out one side, his lips set in a smug looking sneer and piercing brass colored eyes. They had named him 'Lil Wayne. I really wanted to meet him.
Melissa and I went down to the adoption event. The place was very chaotic. There were about 30 dogs there, a lot of puppies. Dogs lined up in crates with that dull “if you're not here, I'm not here” look. Each crate with a fact sheet on top of it. The sheets would have a name, weight, best guess on breed, and sometimes a little history on the dog inside. I found 'Lil Wayne pretty quickly while Melissa wandered around the other crates catching my eye and pointing to one dog or another. I would look at the dog and tilt my head, and then nod hopefully at her.
While I was waiting for one of the volunteers to come talk to me about the pug/boxer with the funny mug, I looked over and saw Melissa reading a fact sheet and I saw her face turning red, her eyes welling up and I knew we had had it. I scratched 'Lil Wayne through the wire crate and walked over to my wife.
What I saw was beautiful pile of fur jammed up against the back of the crate as far as possible. This dog was terrified. A volunteer came over and put a red leash on her and heaved her mightily out of the crate. The dog stood shaking on massive legs and looked up at us with watery eyes.
Winter was a big malamute. She had a smokey gray coat with black tips, she was the color of campfire smoke in the coldest morning in January. She had a big bushy tail that was tucked up firmly between her massive hind quarters. She had a long broad muzzle with a big black scar just under her right eye. Melissa and I took her for a walk outside where it was less noisy. She was slow and ponderous, but graceful in her way. Winter looked like she was floating when she walked, big easy strides with a little bit of bounce. We walked a bit, and then Winter pressed her big heavy head into my thigh and it was all over.
We sat down and talked. Whenever my wife changes my mind she gets a little anxious. Nobody wants to be responsible for causing regret. Melissa wanted to make sure I wasn't going to miss 'Lil Wayne too much. I had to reassure her that this was going to be fine.
One of the volunteers came over to us and talked about Winter a bit. She told us that she had come from a puppy mill where she had lived as a breeder her whole life. Melissa and I thought we knew about puppy mills, we nodded our heads and understood that this dog would have some issues, but that we were prepared, as evidenced by Millie, our hound dog. The volunteer told us that Winter had had some tumors removed, but that they were not cancerous, just fatty cysts that were likely to come back and would need surgery. We accepted responsibility for this.
She told us that it was because Winter was so beautiful that she had been kept as a breeder. That when Winter was rescued from the mill she came with two pups from her last litter. We were given the appropriate pats on the back for adopting such a hard luck case, we filled out some paper work, handed over the adoption fees and headed out with our new pack member.
The first few days Winter spent a lot of time in her crate. She did a pretty impressive chest rumble whenever Millie walked by. Millie took it all pretty well. As long as there is enough food around she's pretty easy going.
Winter learned that we eat in the morning and then go for a walk with Momma. Then we sleep all day in our crate until Daddy comes home from work, then we pee, go for another walk and then eat again. After that it's free time. Millie commands her position on the couch, Dad plays Battlefield on the computer and we wait for Momma to come home. When Momma comes home everyone gets excited we greet her, and then go back to free time. Free time was pretty confusing for Winter. Everything else came pretty easy, the walks, the crate time. Food was tricky, as it sometimes is for rescues. Millie had to get food first, then Winter, but I had to back away pretty quickly, out of the room before she would eat. Didn't want me in the kitchen at all. Eventually it was okay if I sat on a chair near the door. A lot of nights though that first week, Winter would run to her crate, her anxiety just too much.
She fell in love with Melissa pretty quickly, Winter would follow her around the house with that big broad head and giant wet eyes staring up at her, This happened so much that Millie started doing it too. I got pretty jealous of the whole thing. My wife being treated like a star all day while I had to sit in a special seat near the kitchen door.
The end of October went by pretty quickly. We had one bad incident where Millie was sleeping and Winter padded up a little too quietly and startled her, Millie jumped up and snarled Winter into a corner, Winter defended herself and Millie got a bite on the foreleg that bled pretty good for a minute and then stopped. I was worried by this and gathered as much information as possible. The loud fights are not as much a problem as the quiet staring ones apparently. Either way, there was not a recurrence and I think both dogs were a little more careful about where they stepped and where they slept.
Winter started coming around, Her tail started curling up behind her like it's supposed to. She was getting better on our walks, by better I mean faster. We found a specific tree a few houses up that she needed to sniff everyday. She started expecting pets from people instead of boots or whatever they had used to punish her in the mill. One night we had some friends over and at a point there were four people petting her while she lay on the couch, loving every second of it.
She started greeting us with a mighty “Arooo!” whenever we came back into the house. She started picking her head up. We could see some of the noble spirit come back in this dog.
Two weeks before Thanksgiving Winter developed a bit of a limp. She had a condition called Naso-digital Hyper Keratosis, it's common in older dogs. The treatment is really to walk, to wear down the feathering on the footpads. Occasionally these can develop an infection. This is what happened to Winter. We took her to the vet at Holladay Animal Hospital. We fell in love with her vet immediately. Very kind, straightforward, and gentle with our massive friend. She got down on the floor with Winter and gave her a good exam. We got some anti-biotic meds for the infection, and a tooth brush and some meat flavored toothpaste. Later that night we went down to Petsmart and picked up some booties so Winter could go out walking.
Winter started spending more time in her crate. Those pills can do a number on you. She was still walking every morning and every night. Eating good, spending some time with the family, but you could see she was tired. We finished that course of pills and Winter started to come around again.
Thanksgiving we hosted at our place, some of my family some of Melissa's. My son Dylan was there with his brother Duncan. Some of my family that had not met Winter was there, everyone commented on what a beautiful animal she was. Later on, our friends Dave and Sarah stopped in. We chatted about this and that, and of course our dogs.
The Saturday after Thanksgiving, I woke up and went downstairs. There were two wet towels with books stacked on top of them and the smell of “Nature's Miracle” in the air. Melissa came back in from walking the dogs and let me know that it looked like Winter had vomited in the night. I assumed it was possibly from all the food that had been in the house the last few days. As Millie can attest, the more food there is the more likely some of it will make it to the ground.
Winter started getting lethargic on Saturday, by Sunday she was on the couch and not wanting to do much of anything. Melissa and I started to get worried. Monday there was no change. I left work and took her to the vet. She didn't have an appointment, but I could drop her off. I went back to work. Later on the vet called me. They had X-rayed her belly and didn't see obstructions, Winter's liver was small and we might want to do some blood work. I left work and picked Winter up, they gave me a couple of pills for her, an anti-nausea pill.
Tuesday Winter looked a little better, She ate a bit. Not a lot, some pumpkin/chicken baby food and a couple of milkbones. She wouldn't touch her regular food. The next two days I went to work late, coming home for lunch, and leaving early.
Wednesday Winter started breathing more rapidly and shallow. We had an appointment Thursday afternoon with the vet. Wednesday night we were giving water and pedialyte with a syringe.
Thursday morning around 2 am Melissa woke me up. Winter was getting worse. I went downstairs and gave her some more water. I slept on the floor in front of her crate, my hand in her fur, waking whenever her breathing changed. Giving her more water. Thursday morning I went to work. Melissa stayed home and watched Winter. I got back around 2:00 PM. Her appointment was at 4. I waited till just before 3 and then took Millie for a short walk, and then fed her.
I put the lead on Winter and walked her out the front door. On shaky limbs she started heading to the right. Our normal walk starts to the right. I even laughed a little at how game she was, how ready to go sniff her favorite tree. I picked her up and put her down on a blanket in the car. We took her to the vet.
The vet examined Winter. Suggested we get blood work done and then, just before leaving to get started she noticed something about Winter's nose she didn't like. She wanted to X-ray her chest. They took Winter in the back while Melissa and I waited.
Winter came back to us and we sat on the floor with her. Petting her, she licked a little water out of my hand. I got up and asked for a bowl. She wouldn't take any.
When the vet came back in she started with the blood work. Mostly good news. Then she pulled up the x-rays. She explained to us how she could see a lot of fluid around Winter's lungs. That was why Winter was having a hard time breathing. She told us how she had drawn some of that fluid out and looked at it. She told us that there was cancer in the fluid around her lungs.
She explained to us quickly what our options were. Each one seemed to lead to the same place, none of them very long, some with more suffering than others. She left us to talk. Which we did. With Winter's head pressed into my lap we decided to end it there.
The techs came in first, They shaved a spot on Winter's hind leg and inserted a catheter. The big dog didn't even flinch. She just lay between us, her head settled in the V of my thigh and Melissa's thigh. I pulled her collar over her head and put it in my vest pocket. Then the vet came in and told us what to expect.
She inserted a needle filled with pink fluid into the catheter and started slowly pushing down the plunger. Winter moved a bit then. The doctor stayed firm, talking calmly to her. Pressing the plunger down. Winter gasped out two growling breaths and then stopped moving. Her massive head became heavy in my hands and I held it firmly against my thigh. The vet left us alone then.
We stroked Winter for a while. Then we stood up. I put her head on her paws and folded her hind quarters up under her, and then we left the room.
Melissa and I have been talking a lot the last two days. Trying to frame this in a way that we can talk about without breaking down. Trying to keep it together around other folks. Millie is keeping us on track, no sleeping in, we eat, we walk, we rest, we walk again,we eat again, and then we have free time for petting her. She understands that a little consistency and compassion can go along way to healing dogs and people.
On the one hand it is so unfair. Not to us but, to Winter. She had such a nightmare life, but then she gets rescued, and then she finds a family to love her, but it's so short.
Last night Melissa said to me it's like we were just getting her into the boat, and a wave came and took her away. We were just beginning to see the amazing spirit inside of her, She had just made it.
When Winter was rescued in June they named her. It was her first name. When we adopted her, Melissa gave her a second name;“Shura”, it is a Malamute word that means “new life”. Winter exists because we remember her. She will exist as long as we do, and as long as anyone else who reads this does. She is here with us, she is beautiful, and she is loved.
Rescue Rovers
Best Friends in Utah
Second Chance
Holladay Veterinary Hospital
http://www.aspca.org/fight-cruelty/puppy-mills
http://www.prisonersofgreed.org/
http://bestfriends.org/
12 comments:
You gave her the chance to love and be loved and a moment of peace.
Erik
I am sorry for your loss. She was very lucky to have such a Wonderful family.
She made it. There means love and comfort. Thank you.
My deepest sympathies to you and Melissa. What a beautiful tribute to such a beautiful dog. She had more love in the last few months than she did in a life time. I'm so happy you found her. Becky
Jimmy, this is beautiful. You should submit it to a magazine. I knew that you were a great pphotographer. I didn't know that you could write like this. Love you, aunt Ranee
I was that volunteer that came out to talk with you at the event. We love Winter and could not have hoped for a better home for her. It gives me great comfort knowing that she did have months of love and family, she didn't die without a name. Please know that everyone at Rescue Rovers sends their love.
thank you for loving her for a short time. dogs are the best gifts in this life. so priceless! thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I am sorry for you loss and pain. She knew love and had a name because of you. You were her angels and now, she will be yours. Love and light!
Hello, first let me thank you for opening your home and heart to my dear Momma Winter. My name is Angie and I was her foster mom. When I named her Winter I never would have dreamed she wouldn’t make it to see and enjoy her first winter free and able to play in the snow as her breed loves to do.
When the first call went out for a foster for a husky mom she still had 10, yes 10, very young pups nursing who had been born in the shelter. I was lucky enough to be able to step up and say “Yes please.” Unfortunately it took some time to arrange transport and by the time everything had worked itself out all but 2 of the pups had been placed by the shelter. A wonderful woman by the name of Tracee picked up a very skinny, tired and worn out momma dog and two beautiful black and white female pups and brought them to Salt Lake.
I will never forget how playful the pups were and how completely terrified and withdrawn their mother was. She would shy away and cower from your hand, never lift her head from the ground and eye contact was impossible to make. She however kept an eye on her pups at all times and would not load into my car until they were both in, and then with great effort she joined them.
Once we made it home it was a very long, hours to be more precise, process to convince her to go in the house. She had no concept of treats and wouldn’t eat from your hand so bribing her out of the question. Finally once inside her anxiety rose and I had to put her and the pups in a quiet room. Much like your post said she would not eat if I were in the room, but no matter how scared she was, she always took care of her pups. The girls were with us for just under 2 weeks before they were old enough for spay and to join their new homes and in that time, Winter who we called Momma, never dropped her guard but would eat canned chicken so I started adding it to her food so I knew she was getting enough food.
After the pups left it was time to turn all my attention on showing this broken angel that all people were not like the person who took her out to the Ely dump and shot and abandoned her to die. Her kennel was moved into my room and we would talk each night. Days turned into weeks and weeks to a month and slowly she would walk with her tail held higher. Her eyes would make contact and she wouldn’t freeze waiting to get beat. She would go out into the front yard and watch the kids play without cowering in the corner. She went from losing her winter coat to losing almost all her hair to a new thick healthy coat growing in. I loved the first time she rolled on the grass and actually played for a short time. Those short burst of normal dog behavior became more frequent but I can honestly say each one made my entire family smile knowing she was feeling happy and safe probably for the first time in her long life.
I knew it was time to take her to her first event after she began approaching strangers walking by with her head up and her tail wagging. She had been with us for almost 6 months by this time and it was a very hard decision for us because the entire family loved her so deeply. I am not sure if you and your wife knew, but the event you adopted her from was her very first one. I had been there all day but had to leave to pick up my daughter right before you came and made it back shortly after you left. While I was so very happy for her, myself and both my girls cried as well as the other girls who had walked the long road of recovery with her.
I offer my deepest condolences for the pain I know you are feeling. Please know you are not alone in your loss, nor where you alone in your love for her. Thank you again for taking her on the next step of her journey of safety and love.
On behalf of everyone at Rescue Rovers, I send our condolences, and our gratitude. You gave Winter the life she deserved. Thank you for taking her into your family and your hearts.
Sincerely,
Tracee Leikam
I'm heartbroken for you. What a hard thing to have to go through. Know that you made a difference. Winter was so lucky you found her. When you are ready, adopt again and love another dog. There are so many that need people like you.
I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for rescuing Winter. She was lucky to have you.
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